I just love books that have realistic characters. I was really able to relate to the characters because they were just so authentic. Jan 09, Susan rated it liked it Recommends it for: women of all ages, book clubs.
Shelves: novel , fiction. I expected soap opera type drama and not much to think about The premise is taken somewhat from newspaper headlines of an actual case that occurred several years ago. A group of girls, high achievers, happy, bright, well-adjusted from "good families" make a pact to get pregnant their senior year in high school. As I could not fathom the "why" of such a situation, it was interesting to see the different motives the author assigned to each girl had for participating in "the pact".
The story centers around four women who are best friends and who are also partners in a small cottage wool business, and their four daughters who are also best friends.
Why my daughter said no to Oxford University and yes to Leeds
The story is told by Susan, the principal of the local high school. Susan knows first-hand the difficulties of an unplanned teen pregnancy; her parents sent her away when she became pregnant and have never forgiven her or been part of her life since then. On her own, she worked diligently to provide a good life and a stable family for herself and her daughter, Lily.
The girls' naivete as they planned the pact, their slow realization of the impact it has on themselves, the babies and their families and the reaction of other students, parents and ultimately the town itself gradually unfolds under Ms. Delinsky's careful writing. Particularly, the consequences for Susan, who is seen by some as a bad mother and unfit to be the school principal which I personally found a bit hard to accept but it made for good drama.
What makes a good or bad mother? As parents, are we ultimately always responsible for the actions of our children? In any event, this is an enjoyable read that will give you lots to discuss, with your friends or with your book club and I would recommend it. Aug 08, Annie rated it it was ok Shelves: fiction.
This story takes place in the fabricated, small town of Zaganack, near the coast of Maine and only has three pregnant teenagers. One is Lily. Her mother Susan, is the principal of the high school. The books strongest point, is how the author examines relationships, connections, and conflicting motivations between the women. However, I would have liked the story to delve more deeply into the reasons the girls wanted babies and their own journey with the process, instead of focusing so tightly on the mothers.
Also, it seemed that everything was wrapped up very neatly and quickly, which seemed unrealistic, considering what these girls did and how it would honestly change their dynamic and relationship forever. It hooked me in, by the fact that I wanted to see what happened to the characters but I was ambivalent about any outcomes. No favorite quotes. Feb 22, Sherry rated it liked it.
Susan is the mother of a 17 year-old who gets pregnant on purpose. As an unmarried woman who had her daughter at 18, she finds herself thrown into a situation she never anticipated. The problem is c "Well, I know if I were in that situation I'd The problem is compounded by the fact that she is the high school principal. Two of her daughter's friends also get pregnant further adding fuel to the fire.
This book intrigued me as it seemed to deal more with the reactions and struggles of the mothers involved and their attempts to answer the age-old cry of mothers -- "Where did I go wrong? I think that is part of our nature as mothers. But at what point do we say, I did the best I knew how to do, I taught them right from wrong, they have the freedom to choose for themselves, and I cannot feel responsible for what they have done? Of course, I thought what would I do?
The daughter is college-bound, good student, responsible, communicative--but still a teenager who hasn't thought through all the ramifications of her decision, especially the impact it will have on her mother and her mother's job. The pregnancy also dredges up all the old conflicts with her own parents that Susan has pushed down in her heart.
not without my daughter
It also gives her more understanding into how her parents reacted when she found herself unmarried and pregnant. All in all, the book presented opportunities to think about how would I react as a parent? The story does come to a "happy" ending, but I would have really loved to see adoption as more of a possibility for these babies. It was discussed even less than the option of abortion, which really only came up in passing once or twice. A fast read, some good things to think about, but not the deep, life-changing story I was hoping for.
Jan 26, Diane rated it really liked it.
First let me say that I always seem to enjoy a Barbara Delinsky book. Not just because she is a New England author, but because her stories most always about real life situations.
My Daughter Fragrances - Eco-Luxe, Vegan, Phthalate Free, Botanicals
This particular novel is about a subject that would make most mothers of teenage girls cringe: A Pregnancy Pact. In a nutshell Lily, Mary Kate and Jess are three teenage girls, lifelong friends, who decide it would be a great idea to get pregnant at the same time, so that their babies too could be friends. The girls are First let me say that I always seem to enjoy a Barbara Delinsky book. The girls are smart and popular, and even the mothers of these girls Susan, Kate and Sunny are friends. Susan, the mother of Lily is the first to hear the pregnancy news. She thinks what her daughter has told her is a joke, but when she learns that she is serious, all the hopes and dreams that she had for the daughter she raised on her own, seem to be just that -- dreams.
Susan always taught her daughter to be independent, and that it was possible for a woman to raise a well-adjusted child on her own. Susan speaks from experience, as she too was pregnant at seventeen. She decided to raise Lily on her own; her own parents basically sent her on her way, and were never involved in Lily's life.
Lily's father Rick, a successful news reporter, is still somewhat involved in his daughter's life and truly cares about Susan. Meanwhile, Susan has done well on her own, and is now a high school principal, and yes, at Lily's school. She has much to risk professionally, when the news of this pact breaks. Once it is out in the open, everyone seems quick to point the finger and place blame. As I eagerly turned the pages of Not My Daughter, set in the small, close-knit fictional town of Zaganack, Maine it brought to mind a similar, true to life story I had heard about.
An real life pregnancy pact in another coastal town, this one in Gloucester, Massachusetts.
In case you haven't heard about that one, here is the link to the June 18, , Time magazine article. It was thought provoking, timely and emotionally gripping, but I was disappointed by the ending -- to say more might spoil it for others who plan to read this book.
- Why my daughter said no to Oxford University and yes to Leeds | Education | The Guardian;
- Desert Harvest.
- I Lost My Daughter. Even though She is Alive, I Lost Her, and I Grieve Her all the Time;
Mar 07, Beth Peninger rated it really liked it. Not My Daughter tackles a topic that gets a whiff of media attention every now and then - pacts. In this book a group of 17 year old seniors all end up pregnant within weeks of each other and it comes out that they made a pact to all get and be pregnant together and then raise their babies together.
Seemed so easy and cut and dry to them. Never mind the boys who fathered, unknowingly, the babies. Never mind their siblings who would have to endure teasing and scorn. Never mind their parents who h Not My Daughter tackles a topic that gets a whiff of media attention every now and then - pacts. Never mind their parents who had raised them to make better decisions and themselves are now being accused of being horrible parents. Never mind that pregnancy takes a toll on the body. Never mind that their age doesn't make them exempt from complications of pregnancy.
Never mind, never mind, never mind The book, I felt, also ended up highlighting a major problem with today's teenagers. They actually think and believe they are adults already and capable of making adult decisions. Except they aren't and they can't! Part of being an adult is using your life experience to weigh in on your decision making process, of looking at pros and cons and deciding if the cons are worth the price, anticipating "what ifs", of realizing that what you do may and probably does bear "consequences" for someone else - what you do isn't contained to just you, it affects other people.
All of those facts about being an adult shine brightly in this book as the story unfolds and one of the pregnant girls, who with her mom serves to be the main characters of the book, keeps saying, "But this wasn't supposed to happen! Nobody ever knows what will happen but life experience and maturity certainly help us weigh those kinds of "what ifs". The book also addresses parenting. What makes a "good" and "bad" parent?